First off, I would like to acknowledge the webpage Malesurvivor.org for helping me through the issue of the Social Worker and my hospital stay the past couple of weeks. The support from members helped me realize that it was only one person’s view that does not know the whole story and really had no basis to even make such a comment. Also, based on HIPPA laws no one is really going to have access to these records and the fact that my Sister was aware and even voiced her dissatisfaction only confirmed in my mind that she was way off base and I am starting to realize that it shows some people still need to be educated on Child Sexual Abuse, especially when it involves family members.
While reading some of the responses on the page in reference to my problem I came across one members blog who wrote about the view of some people and their comments “Boys will be Boys” or “At that age, it’s all experimental” and came to realize that along with the comments of the Social Worker at the hospital it is so true that after all these years, and all the information out there in the world today that people are still naïve to the feelings and thoughts of survivors. People often view abuse as an Adult/Child situation and really do overlook Child/Child abuse. One fact that really supports this is how Date Rape is just really starting to become widely known and that it does not need a so called “Date Rape Drug” to be involved.
Incest is another form of Child Sexual Abuse that when mentioned, people automatically think of the father who abuses his daughter, never do you hear about Brother/Sister or Brother/Brother abuse. When I approached my own brother on my abuse years after when it hit me, he said to me that it was only child’s play and that I needed to get over it. He was very charismatic and really had me believing that maybe he was right, even though it hurt me to no end when ever I thought about it. I did not think about how I was fifteen years old when he violently raped me and he was nineteen years old. I did not think about how he made my twelve year old sister watch as he beat me as he did. Had I thought about it I would have questioned how it could be experimental at that age? Maybe, JUST Maybe when I was eight years old and my sister was five one might call it that but not when it is under the direction of a brother who was twelve years old. His mentality and reasons for putting us through what he did and the fact I needed to get over it, showed just how sick he truly was.
There are so many people, like me and my sister, who have suffered at the hands of siblings or relatives who were the same age or even a little older and the truth needs to be told. The stereo type abuser needing to be an adult needs to be broken with the fact that anyone at any age can become a perpetrator. While the Social Worker was way off tract in my situation because she did not have all the facts, she was correct in fact that had my sister not approved and I was the one doing the act on my own and continuing well past that one situation then even though I was eight years old, I would have been a Sexual Abuser. We really need to become more aware of what is happening in our world today, and the lack of knowledge towards the many different types of abuse shows just how much work is still needed to make the world aware of Child Sexual Abuse and all the different forms there are.
With today being Christmas Eve, we should all stop and think about all the children who are dealing with what we dealt with when we were children. Pray that they will not have to suffer the way we have because of it, and if they do, pray they find the strength in friends that we all have made in our own struggle to survive to where we are today, For it is from friends that support us where we sometimes find our greatest strengths to make it one more day. And to all who read my blog, thank you for your support because as I look at the views in a day it helps me feel as if I am helping someone by telling my story and my daily life feelings. Until Next Time.