Complex Inner Workings
My previous blog post talked a lot about what has happened to me over the course of the last two years. Obviously there was a ton of details and specific actions in the blog that was left out only because the post could have almost turned into a small book had I truly started from the beginning and wrote about events until that blog was posted.
But what that post does bring to the forefront is what every person who suffers from any type of mental or physical abuse trauma and that is the fear of being abused again. While the actual event of the trauma weighs heavy on the mind and soul of a person, the fears of reoccurring abuse is what brings on the stress associated with that specific trauma. It's within this stress that the body reacts and takes on a defensive in different forms which could include phobias, terrors in dreams, panic attacks and many other reactions that effect everyday normal living. It is dealing with these that one suffers the most from because a majority of the effects come with no warnings or little to no explanation as to why something happens.
A good example of this is a panic attack, often striking a person with many different types of side effects such as chest pains, shortness of breath and increased fear. Panic attacks strike most every time with no warnings and often increase in intensity because of the fact that the side effects alone mimic other medical conditions of a more serious nature and one can never tell the difference. One of the biggest problem I see from this is that the individual eventually stops seeking medical help because of constant phone calls to their doctors over these feelings and should something actually occur that added fear of "Crying Wolf" could end up being the real thing. What most people do not do is contact their doctors who prescribe the medications to have them adjusted to help them with panic attacks or will often self medicate which could lead to a more serious situation.
Once a person becomes abused, not only do they feel the physical or mental abuse but the mind will create any type of safety buffer it can to protect ones self. We do not have control over the minds reaction, and more so than often it is this buffer that creates diagnosis such as PTSD, Agoraphobia, Major Depression and other mental disabling factors. It also falls into the definition of the Stockholm Syndrome as to why abuse or manipulation is able to occur after the initial abuse has taken place. Once faced with another threat of abuse the body and mind will react to protect ones self, and while a normal person might fight, someone who suffers from this will mentally and quickly build walls to protect while detaching themselves from the reality that another attack or abusive situation is taking place. Well hidden behind these walls, the situation is able to move forward and it is then that close family, friends and loved ones become the second victims because of the fact one has hidden and protected themselves that no one can or will be let in unless that person is able to heal.
That is where the long road to recovering comes into play when it comes to breaking down the walls of fear. Your everyday person on the street cannot understand why one cannot just leave the past alone and move on when it comes to abuse. When a person is abused it goes much deeper then the abuse, like I said it becomes a self protection and that is what the real healing needs to focus on. I personally have been in counseling for many years and have discussed over and over the abuse I have lived, however discussing how to begin to chip away at the walls was not. In order for a person to even start to heal over any type of abuse they must first begin to chip at these walls and that is what is the most difficult thing one will ever have to deal with. In essence breaking down a wall means leaving ones self venerable which no survivor is quickly willing to do. Once a person is abused more then once either by the same perpetrator or a second and so forth the walls become that much thicker and much more difficult to chip away at often leaving a person to live their lives in the same fears, same protection and same frame of mind for many years and for some, forever.
In summery, one must understand the complex inner workings of a victim of abuse because without this understanding it will and does bring more stress into relationships, work and everyday life. It may take years for one to even begin to understand why someone is acting the way they do or how their thoughts are formed from inside these walls. One must also keep in mind that often times the victim themselves will not understand why or how they react to certain situations because of the way their minds work. Just like in the Stockholm Syndrome why the abused became close to their abusers is best described in my own thoughts is because it gave the victim a sense of control. While this is not always the case, it gives the victim a very small sense of peace to think they are in control. There are many reasons a victim act the way that they do, the problem is getting there to find out why and how to fix it in the healing process.
But what that post does bring to the forefront is what every person who suffers from any type of mental or physical abuse trauma and that is the fear of being abused again. While the actual event of the trauma weighs heavy on the mind and soul of a person, the fears of reoccurring abuse is what brings on the stress associated with that specific trauma. It's within this stress that the body reacts and takes on a defensive in different forms which could include phobias, terrors in dreams, panic attacks and many other reactions that effect everyday normal living. It is dealing with these that one suffers the most from because a majority of the effects come with no warnings or little to no explanation as to why something happens.
A good example of this is a panic attack, often striking a person with many different types of side effects such as chest pains, shortness of breath and increased fear. Panic attacks strike most every time with no warnings and often increase in intensity because of the fact that the side effects alone mimic other medical conditions of a more serious nature and one can never tell the difference. One of the biggest problem I see from this is that the individual eventually stops seeking medical help because of constant phone calls to their doctors over these feelings and should something actually occur that added fear of "Crying Wolf" could end up being the real thing. What most people do not do is contact their doctors who prescribe the medications to have them adjusted to help them with panic attacks or will often self medicate which could lead to a more serious situation.
Once a person becomes abused, not only do they feel the physical or mental abuse but the mind will create any type of safety buffer it can to protect ones self. We do not have control over the minds reaction, and more so than often it is this buffer that creates diagnosis such as PTSD, Agoraphobia, Major Depression and other mental disabling factors. It also falls into the definition of the Stockholm Syndrome as to why abuse or manipulation is able to occur after the initial abuse has taken place. Once faced with another threat of abuse the body and mind will react to protect ones self, and while a normal person might fight, someone who suffers from this will mentally and quickly build walls to protect while detaching themselves from the reality that another attack or abusive situation is taking place. Well hidden behind these walls, the situation is able to move forward and it is then that close family, friends and loved ones become the second victims because of the fact one has hidden and protected themselves that no one can or will be let in unless that person is able to heal.
That is where the long road to recovering comes into play when it comes to breaking down the walls of fear. Your everyday person on the street cannot understand why one cannot just leave the past alone and move on when it comes to abuse. When a person is abused it goes much deeper then the abuse, like I said it becomes a self protection and that is what the real healing needs to focus on. I personally have been in counseling for many years and have discussed over and over the abuse I have lived, however discussing how to begin to chip away at the walls was not. In order for a person to even start to heal over any type of abuse they must first begin to chip at these walls and that is what is the most difficult thing one will ever have to deal with. In essence breaking down a wall means leaving ones self venerable which no survivor is quickly willing to do. Once a person is abused more then once either by the same perpetrator or a second and so forth the walls become that much thicker and much more difficult to chip away at often leaving a person to live their lives in the same fears, same protection and same frame of mind for many years and for some, forever.
In summery, one must understand the complex inner workings of a victim of abuse because without this understanding it will and does bring more stress into relationships, work and everyday life. It may take years for one to even begin to understand why someone is acting the way they do or how their thoughts are formed from inside these walls. One must also keep in mind that often times the victim themselves will not understand why or how they react to certain situations because of the way their minds work. Just like in the Stockholm Syndrome why the abused became close to their abusers is best described in my own thoughts is because it gave the victim a sense of control. While this is not always the case, it gives the victim a very small sense of peace to think they are in control. There are many reasons a victim act the way that they do, the problem is getting there to find out why and how to fix it in the healing process.
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