What is with my mind?

       OK, I am confused in fact I am really confused and I do mean REALLY confused. I feel like I am loosing my mind piece by piece but my wife says that my alters are really starting to come out more and more. Here is what is going on.

       Several nights ago I had picked the kids up at school and bring them home, no problem. I was speaking to them and when I finished my sentence they all said "Yeah and what". I was very confused and had no idea what they were asking me. My daughter said "Dad, you said guess what and then just stopped". I looked her dead in the face and asked what she was talking about. I did not know that I had said something more past what my sentence was. The fact that they all asked means that I must have said it; I just did not remember it at all.

       Last night while moving my utility trailer back towards the house with my ATV we were backing up the machine to the trailer when someone said something. Instead of grabbing the break as I ALWAYS do I pressed the throttle smashing my machine into the crank of the trailer. Problem here was the more they yelled the more I pressed on the gas totally smashing the back end of the machine where now I have to replace the whole tail light system and back storage unit. I just lost my mind and reacted different then I would have any other time. Then when it came time to back the trailer up I could not do it. Here is someone who can back a 32 foot camper between two oak trees, with no guiders, place it livel and within inches of the septic tank never even having to pull forward once. I was so confused on where to turn my wheels that I got off the machine as had to ask my daughters 16 year old boyfriend to do it. To top the night off my youngest I wanted to speak with, I kept yelling Janet, Janet and she just kept walking. However everyone in the room all asked me why I called my daughter Janet when that is not even close to what her real name sounds like. Then my wife asks why I had to pass a Monument store and tell my son that in two years I will need to buy one of those and when confronted by my wife I have no recall what so ever saying that, especially to my son or any of my kids.

       Ok, so is my mind going on the wild side of life or is my wife correct that my alters are starting to make their presents known more and  more? If this is so much the case how can I stop them from doing this? It is really bothering me today. I am becoming scared; I am starting to wonder if I am loosing my mind. This they say is perfect example of someone with Disassociation Disorder. All I know is that it has me so confused I don't know what to think.

       Well, that is my short off the chest comment. This is something I really had to get off my chest because it is really bothering me. And one thing, a major part of those who have been sexually abused also suffers from this and never says a word to any one about it. Two people I know who have it have never told their family or anyone. If that is two how many more deal with it in silence? Till next time...

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